The Domestic Treaty

May 4, 2020 at 4:36 pm 18 comments


The bilateral treaty that I and my wife entered into during this lockdown period covers areas of responsibility in discharging the household chores and it has no clause for unilateral exit. The agreement is binding on both the parties as long as the other maintain all the conventions and does not indulge in acts of omissions, tantamount to breach of contract. The broad contours of the treaty are so framed that there is equitable distribution of work with scope for minimal infringement into each other’s territory. When all matters relating to the external affairs are purely under my realm, the operational jurisdiction of my wife’s work encompass kitchen and laundry, both critical departments that demand seasoned expertise and deep domain knowledge. And I have the responsibility to do the ground work that would facilitate seamless preparation (meaning cutting the vegetables) of sustenance food by my wife. With additional charge to ensure that the living spaces are secured for human habitation (sweeping and mopping the floor) and to oversee that all essential equipment are made ‘Mission Ready’ for the next day’s operations (in other words, cleaning the dirty utensils before going to bed), I have my KRAs clearly spelt out.  By a special provision in the agreement, I am exempted from liability that could be incurred by any act of a persona non grata, the entry of anyone into the house uninvited, and that is a big concession in these days of the Covid spread!

The cutting of the vegetables for many could be a cultivated art but for me it is nothing short than a commando planning before a surgical strike. When chopping a bunch of beans, for example, each of the pods need to be stripped off the external fibre, levelled them to uniform size and cut into pieces of equal micro length, an exercise that demands operational precision and clinical execution. When it comes to dealing with the unruly leafy vegetables, it could be an absolute nightmare with many strains intruding into the operational area while a whole stacked bunch jumps off and escape the chopping knife. Thanks to the many youtube videos, I could, at last, gain a semblance of working knowledge on the subject, after doing a few dry-runs on paper napkins.  Such is the level of the challenges that are thrown at me during this lockdown period that twenty-five years of work experience and a twenty years of education preceding it,  is hardy of any relevance today. 

 The sweeping and mopping the floor, I thought would be much simpler, like clearing the trash box of the laptop….press Ctrl+Alt+Del and all the junk is gone! But after every sweeping assignment, I need to embark upon the task of cajoling my jarred hip muscle with a lavish dose of self-massage. And when mopping becomes an essential follow-up activity, the limbs, the elbows and the calf muscles all join the chorus for an extended period of physiotherapeutic appeasement. If the going gets little harder, they all request for a moratorium from work, at least for two consecutive days, without any penalty, a demand that is in contravention to the terms of the treaty!

 The external agencies that I am to contend with are the milk supplier, the grocery store owner and the vegetable vendor. Interacting with them demand skill sets in negotiation, in supply chain management along with sorting and assorting techniques. Purchase of the vegetables, for instance, has to precede a reconnaissance mission to all the nearby vendors with the objective to make a fair assessment of the price band of each of the veggies. Armed with such a scientifically collated data, I would be in an extolled position to extract the best deal. And in these days of serious monetary constraints, when alacrity needs to take precedence over callousness, such analytics help withstand the pressure of lobbying by the vendors. 

Even after such intense planning, there were instances when I could not fully comply with the finer points of the agreement seriously jeopardising its operation. But with the help of the interlocutor, my daughter, we managed to thrash out the issues and bring truce with my wife and salvage it for another day. 

With the third extension of the lockdown announced with many relaxations, the period of the treaty too is now extended, without any relaxation!!!

Ho, it’s just about time for the next activity and a sink full of vessels is staring at me!

Regards

Narayanan

Entry filed under: Humour. Tags: , , .

The great digital divide

18 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Alka. J. Sudan  |  May 4, 2020 at 8:46 pm

    Very nicely written and loved the humour.I do hope that you have signed the treaty
    My house it is unilateral and both of us adhere to the terms
    I cook he eats 😂
    I wash he tells where it is wrong 😂
    I make tea he drinks 😁😉
    This way we have managed to keep the lockdown very peaceful

    Reply
    • 2. chapter18  |  May 4, 2020 at 8:56 pm

      The treaty is inked… but it is not as neutral as earlier thought…

      Reply
  • 3. Susruthi  |  May 4, 2020 at 11:40 pm

    Nice treaty sir….loved the way of explaining the hardships in humourous way..

    Reply
  • 5. an observer  |  May 7, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    Reality presented humorously.
    Great post.

    Reply
  • 7. SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️  |  May 9, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    Nice blog

    Reply
  • 10. chapter18  |  May 9, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    Thank you

    Reply
  • 11. Sangeetha Ramachandran  |  May 10, 2020 at 8:24 pm

    Ha ha hilarious! Loved it

    Reply
  • 12. BillboardVagabond  |  May 11, 2020 at 5:23 am

    Hi, brilliantly put with humour aplenty.
    Thanks and much appreciated for sharing

    Reply
  • 15. Anand Bose  |  May 13, 2020 at 8:30 pm

    Interesting to Read. Anand Bose from Kerala

    Reply
  • 17. Rohini  |  May 14, 2020 at 5:55 am

    Interesting read! A humorous insight into the life during lockdown. But it should be a treaty for lifetime!!

    Reply
    • 18. chapter18  |  May 14, 2020 at 6:10 am

      Yes,I can’t agree more.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Recent Posts

Categories

Most popular

Chronology

May 2020
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Blog Stats

  • 16,882 hits

previous posts

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 100 other followers


%d bloggers like this: